MY MOM ANN
The phone rings; it’s 7:00 am, I’m still groggy from sleep. A voice on the other end introduces themselves as nurse so and so, from the hospital. My mother has just passed away. A call I was not unexpecting, but it still hits you like a hammer. I immediately call my sister Susan who is already at work and let her know. I can still feel the vibration of her wailing, the guttural, primal cry of a wounded soul. Susan has just lost her best friend. It’s time to get up to the hospital and make arrangements. It’s December 20th, three days before our family’s flight to Tokyo.
One of my often used sayings is everything in life has a beginning a middle and an end. While I wasn’t there for my mother’s beginning, I can safely say I was certainly there for much of the middle and most definitely at the end.
This visual story is an accounting of the final weeks of my mother Ann’s life. During the first week of December, she suffered a devestating stroke that left her unable to speak and unable to swallow. At the time, we were hopeful it was just a minor setback, perhaps another urinary tract infection, perhaps something else not too serious. We didn’t realize that the stroke she suffered and the next few weeks would be her end story.
As I write this it’s now approaching May, over four months since those early days in December. Many of the images I took I’m not really comfortable in sharing. Nor do I think, if my mother was alive, she would want to be remembered in that way. To honour her and her memory, these images I hope will give you visual cues to what we experienced. It was a brutally difficult time for our all of us. My mother was the beloved matriarch of our clan and knowing that we would never have another chat, another laugh, another hug was and still is a painful thought.
The images take us from the early days when my mom was still alert and seemingly aware of her surroundings to the day of her passing on December 20, 2023.
Besides our family members, my mom had the constant and loving care from her primary caregivers Roxie and Margie, two people who are heroes in my book. And of course the many wonderful doctors and nurses and support staff at Cortellucci Vaughan Hospital.
As an epilogue, I can only say I hope that I have as many people surrounding me in my final days as my mother had. While there were many years where I can admit to us having our differences, I can also say that the final years, with her memory and health declining, were the most happy between us. They say that people with dementia can go one of two ways; they can become angry and bitter or they can become loving and caring. My mother was definitely in the latter camp. Her genuine joy in seeing us when we entered her apartment every Sunday was heartwarming. She expressed to us how important we were to her and how much she appreciated us being in her life. There was nothing that was left unsaid.
All of us, my wife Alice as well as our sons Maximilian and Solomon witnessed on a weekly basis the love of a kind, caring and grateful women. She was lovingly referred to by our sons as “The Bubinator”. I don’t think she was fond of that nickname but it definitely captured something of the iconic status she had in our family.
Jewish people say “May her memory be a blessing”. We were definitely blessed having such a loving person in our life. I hope the images speak for themselves and give you a sense of those weeks up at Cortellucci.
We made it to our flight to Tokyo. I kept reminding myself, it’s what my mom would have wanted. Thanks mom.
SHOT WITH THE FUJIFILM X-PRO3, XF 27MM, XF35MM F2
Ann Kahn: 1929 - 2024
JAPAN - TOKYO - PART II
Ten days, and an earthquake later, we arrived back in Tokyo for the final few days of our trip. There were so many special moments of our second stay in Tokyo. Our ryokan, the Yuenbettai Daita was mere steps from the train station. I guess you could describe the Yuenbettai Daita as being a modern interpretation of a ryokan. It felt like a ryokan re-invented. The area (city) that it’s in is called Setagaya which quickly became my new favorite place in Japan. Coming from Toronto where developers rule the roost and seem to have only one priority and that’s to line their bank accounts, Setagaya is a community where the developers would actually want to live there. It’s urban design by really smart, talented people.
So onto the highlights. We had a super delicious pour over coffee experience on the first part of our Tokyo trip @binyacoffeeten but on the advise of my friend and official coffee aficionado Len, we found our way about 15 minutes from our ryokan to @bearpondespresso which I quickly found out, roasts and serves beans that are simply out of this world. I think we went there three days in a row to get our daily fix, each time buying more beans and trinkets to bring home. I can’t recommend them enough. The only thing missing was the owner, Katsu San was away during that week so we didn’t get to watch the master at work.
Another highlight of the trip was our time with Alice’s cousin Peter and his family. On our first day back in Tokyo Peter took us to a Harry Potter exhibition where according to Peter, there is very fresh and very reasonable sushi. It sounded just way too touristy for me, but when in Rome. So apparently other folks know about this particular spot. 2-1/2 hours later we finally sat down to eat and oh my, it was just outstanding. And so reasonably priced you can’t believe the value. For about ¥3,800 (about $38 CAD) I ate enough super fresh sushi to totally fill me up. And we got to watch Peter’s spectacular son Ken (nicknamed Natto Boy for a reason) wolf down enough natto to choke a horse. The kid’s amazing (and super cute).
On the last day and final hours of our stay in Tokyo (and Setagaya) we went back to Bear Pond for yet another hit of caffeine and wandered around the area looking for a quick lunch before the train ride to Haneda Airport. A few feet from our coffee spot we noticed a line was forming by a tiny shop. It was only 11:30 am. Our internet savvy sons looked the spot up and found out it was a Michelin rated hand pulled noodle shop. So we got in line which, not surprisingly moved along pretty briskly… it is a noodle shop after all. I think we all ordered hand pulled noodles with wontons (our family has a thing for wontons) and we were not disappointed. As far as last meals go, we definitely went out with a bang. It was simple and delicious. End of story.
To wrap this up, there’s really no way to include all of the fun things we did in Japan. I haven’t even described the Jazz Kissa’s (Jazz BigBoy being a highlight) or the record shopping at disc union - @discunionshinjukijazz. Nor the terrific omakaze dinner we had with our Japanese distributors for @uberlight. Not to mention the 15,000 + steps we did every day to explore this amazing country.
Sometimes after a long journey you feel exhausted, almost ready for another vacation. The exact opposite has happened after this trip. Japan was exactly the tonic that we all needed. We are already thinking about our next Japan adventure (hopefully without the earthquake drama). It might be time to start learning some Japanese. Until next time, Sayonara.
SHOT WITH THE FUJIFILM X-PRO3, XF 27mm
TOKYO PART II IN COLOR
JAPAN - KANAZAWA
We arrived by bullet train in Kanazawa on December 30th, the plan was to spend New Year’s in the nice “quiet” setting of this smaller city. Alice had another surprise for me (the first being the K5 hotel in Tokyo with it’s in room stereo, turntable and records). As we walked into the Kaname Inn, greeting us in the lounge was a pair of Garrard 301 turntables (for DJ use), McIntosh amp and preamp and a set of Tannoy vintage loudspeakers. Oh and a wall of LP’s. Things were definitely looking up.
There were lots of sites worth exploring in Kanazawa, but I had the feeling that we were all interested in relaxing and not doing too much… winding down for the New Year. Getting a restaurant to eat on New Year’s eve was a bit dicey, but our hotel came through for us.
On New Year’s day, the plan was to go out for a very casual, lazy walk through the Kenrokuen Gardens and the famous Higashi Chaya Geisha District. On the walk back to our hotel, Alice’s iPhone alarm warning went off and a split second later we felt the ground under us shake with an intensity that was frightening. The buildings around us rattled, as did trees and pretty much everything else. I guess the whole event lasted not more than a minute. It felt much longer.
We found out later that the epicenter for the earthquake was in the Ishikawa prefecture (the same one Kanazawa is located in) a mere 116 km from where we were staying. Of course we were never in any real danger. Our friends and families back home needn’t have worried, but it was a very scary and intense event. The aftershocks were another new experience, having our fifth floor hotel room shake and sway was nerve racking to say the least.
Once things settled down, the next problem to solve was how the heck we were going to get back to Tokyo the next day. All trains going into and out of Kanazawa had been cancelled. Assuming the worse, Alice got online and booked us a flight out of Kanazawa to Tokyo on the first flight she could book which was three days later on the Friday.
While we were stewing with the prospect of spending two extra days in Kanazawa, we could see on the train systems mobile app that trains were supposedly resuming the day after (January 2nd) at 3:00 pm. We decided to go for it, dispatching Maximilian and Solomon to the train station to “scope out” the situation. While we were waiting to hear from them we packed up and checked out of the hotel. In a short while, they texted that the trains were resuming at 3:00 pm and they were in line, so we needed to get over there.
If they hadn’t gone three hours early and waited in line, we likely would have spent at least an extra day in Kanazawa. It all kind of worked out in the end. The reserved train seat we had that was cancelled was gone, but we were able to find four seats (we were second in line). The train was jam packed with people, literally like sardines for most of the four hours to Tokyo. This was a high speed bullet train but it felt more like the Slow Train To Oxmox, stopping at train stations along the way to pick up otherwise abandoned passengers. I’m not quite sure how so many people fit on that train but the passengers, mostly locals were all polite and taking it in stride. Alice cancelled the flight she had booked and other than the aggravation and slight delay, we were back on track for the final part of our journey… Tokyo Part 2.
SHOT WITH THE FUJIFILM X-PRO3, XF 27mm, XF 35MM F2
KANAZAWA IN COLOR
JAPAN - Nagano
The K5 hotel in Tokyo was a lovely modern oasis in the bustle of the big city. The hotel had all of the amenities one needed. The big surprise though, was an in room stereo complete with turntable and records. It’s located right across from the Tokyo Stock Exchange so fairly central and easy to get to.
On December 28th we took a bullet train to Nagano, then a shorter ride on a local train to our first ryokan in north Nagano. Complete with tatami mats on the floors and the requisite futon bed (although ours seemed to be made with memory foam), it certainly was a lot more on the rustic side, but still very nice. Jinpyokaku Honten - @jinpyokakuhonten was just a short walk from the main event, the famous snow monkeys, located at the base of Joshinetsu Kogen National Park.
We were warned about snow and icy conditions, but as luck would have it, neither were a factor. The walk was a couple of km’s up the winding mountain. It was quite lovely actually, a lot of tourists but it was very manageable. And the adorable snow monkeys didn’t disappoint, not to mention the guy dressed in a tiger outfit.
On the walk down back to our ryokan, a women in a stall to the side of the road was cooking sweet potatoes over an open fire. We stopped to taste the local apples as well as a very tender sweet potato.. it was the best thing I had eaten in a day where the ryokan had prepared us a breakfast feast. It was simple and delicious. Memorable in fact.
After our snow monkey adventure we took a walk into town and discovered the wide range of onten’s (steam baths) that are available to the locals and the tourists. Lots of skiing is done up here as well (Winter Olympics anyone?). We stopped for a light snack bought a few treats at a local shop and headed back to our ryokan for a hot bath in the natural springs and a rest before dinner.
We only stayed in Nagano for two nights but it was a restful respite from the busy start to our holiday in Tokyo. If we had more time, there are so many beautiful towns in this area. Definitely worth exploring on our next trip to Japan. And I’ll definitely be back for more of those sweet potatoes.
SHOT WITH THE FUJIFILM X-PRO3, XF 27mm, XF 35MM F2
NAGANO IN COLOR
Next up, Kanazawa…
JAPAN - TOKYO PART 1
Traveling again to Asia. It’s something that I couldn’t really fathom until it actually happened.
Only three days before my mother (Ann) passed away after suffering a stroke. I was steadfast that we were not going to cancel our trip, but honestly, until we got on the plane I thought there was always the possibility that it wasn’t going to happen.
For various reasons, I was single minded that we should not cancel. The three weeks leading up to my mom’s passing were, whether I realized it at the time or not, totally exhausting. Getting away was exactly what I needed and likely the same for Alice, Maximilian and Solomon. It was a tough time for all of us.
So here I am, back in Toronto for more than a week and I’ve been busy reviewing, culling and processing the images that mean something, okay and also look good ;-) This is usually a fairly simple task except I took over seven hundred images, probably about three times the amount that I’m used to taking. Maybe it’s pent up energy that needed an outlet, maybe it’s my frame of mind or maybe it was the outstanding light that seems to appear almost daily in Japan.
There are way too many images to pack into one blog post so I’ll attempt to break this up by the cities we visited and hope it conveys something about the wonderful time we had in Japan, the polite and thoughtful people and that incredible light.
Of course, it all starts in Tokyo.
SHOT WITH THE FUJIFILM X-PRO3, XF 27mm, XF 35MM F2
tOKYO IN COLOR
Next up, Nagano…
WHISTLER 2022, THE NEW ROUTINE
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I wouldn’t exactly call us a “skiing family”, but on and off since 2009 we’ve tried to get to Whistler for at least a week’s skiing. Both Maximilian and Solomon have come and gone during those years, with high school and university often getting in the way of them joining us. It didn’t hurt that between 2016 - 2019 Maximilian’s university was a 45 minute drive south of Whistler.
So here we all are in 2022. University days are now over. Covid has released its vice like grip on our vacation dreams and our bodies were willing and for the most part able.
The early years at Whistler were filled with routine. Wake up, eat, drop the kids off at ski camp and make our way over to our own adult version of camp. Our time together was dinner and the short time before bed when the blissful exhaustion of the day caught up to all of us.
So now we’re all grown ups. I’ve been known to want to get to the mountain early and beat the rush. While there was no fresh snow to rush out for, there also wasn’t the crazy line-ups at the base of the mountain that we faced last year. So our routine was get up, have a good stretch, maybe check out the news, have a fine breakfast in our room, lounge a bit more and at some point by late morning we would be ready to ski.
I think we were all comfortable with the pace of this new routine. I think Maximilian and Solomon enjoyed lounging in the room as much as we did. The mountain wasn’t going anywhere and after years and years of deadlines (school, work, etc) it’s just nice to chill.
This seems like a fine template for future ski holidays. I noticed my ski days have hovered between 5 and 6 days during our 7 day holiday’s. I think I’m about ready for a 4 day ski week. Plenty of time to rest and plenty of time to ski. I need to get working on my après ski skills, I think I have some catching up to do.
HIS NAME IS PAUL
SHOT WITH FUJI XPRO-3 - XF35 F2
This is my cousin Paul. He is most certainly my closest cousin, in fact he’s also one of my closest friends. And as these images show, he’s a bit of a character.
We can convey character in images, but maybe what I was aiming for is that he is a character. Paul is a unique breed of humanoid that lives and breathes schtick… his is an unabashed, unapologetic form of Henny Youngman meets Jackie Mason type of borscht belt humour. It’s adorable. It’s agonizing. It’s uniquely Paul.
I had a blast taking these images mostly because I was almost certain he was going to tell me to go fuck myself when I asked him. Much to my delight he agreed and I think in all honesty he was just warming up as I was winding down. This guy was made to have his picture taken. I hope he’ll sit for me again and I really hope he’ll bring more of those fine smoked meat Rueben’s again (hint hint).
And for this post I am breaking one of the golden rules and I’m posting in both black and white and in color. I think the black and white photos stand well on their own but for this series I processed the colors (for the first time) using Fujifilm’s Eterna (Cinema) preset and since my cousin Paul is an enormous cinephile (with a sub specialty in Italian mafia films and tv shows), it seemed like a good fit.
Please don’t ask about the banana. It’s a long story.
WEEKEND AT THE DRAKE
SHOT WITH FUJI XPRO-3 - XF35 F2
As we prepare to settle into what feels like an inevitable 3rd lockdown (or is it the 4th?) here are some images from a trip to the Drake Devonshire Inn a couple of weekends ago when our thoughts were on decompressing from the city, what are we doing for the next meal and shall we order up more tea?
Even though we were less than 200km from Toronto, it felt like we were away. The acts of eating in new restaurants, enjoying the spectacular view looking out into Lake Ontario, doing a little winery hopping and visiting the local alpaca farm was the respite that we were looking for. The quintessential recharging of the batteries.
So here we are on December 17th, a mere two weeks from that weekend, with the announcement today from the Ontario Government on further restrictions. Discussions now are on can we get the rapid test kits in time for returning to work on January 3rd and how can we ensure that we’re all safe.
If nothing else, this pandemic should be teaching us to be in the moment. Yes, it’s a cliche, but this very small part of the world that we call home can seemingly change on a dime. So for now, I’ll look at these images (yes, Alice’s foot is swollen due to a torn ligament) and remember a weekend with no care in the world.
Happy Holidays!
A SAUBLE BEACH THANKSGIVING
My last post was back in June. That’s probably around the same time i last picked up my camera. What are we going to call this… the Covid-19 brain freeze ‘n drought sounds about right. Whatever the reason (really, damned if I know) I just lost all interest in taking pictures.
When I finally did pick up my camera again a few weeks ago, I hoped that the part of my grey matter that registers what all the little dials and buttons do, didn’t completely atrophy like a weight lifters biceps after he’s become a couch potato.
The good news is that maybe this is more like riding a bike than I thought. The basics came back pretty quickly. The harder stuff like using a flash was a little trickier, with some of the missing details only reappearing days later.
Our Canadian Thanksgiving this year was a trip, about 3 hours north west of Toronto to Sauble Beach. The missing element of travel has been a big reason why I haven’t been motivated to shoot. So this was the perfect opportunity to see if there was anything left in the tank.
My mission was made all the more interesting since Pat @laroquephotogram provided his Daido Moriyama presets to me. My creative rebound needed a bit of a push and this was a great help seeing the world through the contrasty perspective of the Japanese master.
Regardless of the results, the passion at least for the time being is back. The Covid-19 brain freeze ‘n drought seems to have abated. Yet another of the many reasons this time of year to be thankful.
SHOT WITH FUJI X-PR02, XF35MM F2
CALIFORN-I-AY
Yup, I finally made it down to LA for a few days along with a side trip to Santa Monica.
I can’t say this was every really on my radar. I have nothing against LA. We’d been to San Fransisco and had a wonderful time right before our first was born. It’s just that LA represents a lot that I don’t really care for in this world; the excess, the glitz and the glamor just isn’t me. It ain’t my scene honey.
So it was pretty easy to dodge it all these years. Somehow or other in a moment of desperation… you know that feeling, when you’ve rifled through a dozen holiday destinations and no one can agree on just one. So LA with a side trip to Santa Monica it was. And to be honest, other than a terribly overcrowded, depressing walk along the walk of fame, it really was pretty cool. The people were great, the food and the accommodations were amazing and the coffee was strong. Really not much more to ask for.
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CURATING COLLECTIONS
Curating this site has given me all kinds of lessons on how to put together a collection of images. Something I would previously have taken for granted actually takes a fair bit of skill and lots and lots of practise.
You would think finding “like” images is a simple process but I’m often surprised by how it looks when done. There’s so many variables from the subject matter, the colors, the shapes and so on. It’s a never ending battle of trial and error.
These are a few from our recent trip to the south of Italy. The images look “warm” to my eye. Not surprisingly, they were taken in July during the hottest time of the summer.
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ANOTHER 4 HOUR BOAT TOUR
Yep, we went on (yet) another one of those cheesy 4 hour boat tours. Every time I do one of these, breathing noxious diesel fumes and watching Alice get sea sick, I swear to the heavens that this will be the last one.
A special thank you to Pat @laroquephotogram for helping with the curating and processing of these images.
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